One Year Since You Died; A Letter to My Husband

It's been nearly one year since you passed away, one year already since I saw you last. Wow. You have successfully helped me believe in life after “death,” and have shown me many ways I can connect with you, I love you for that, for guiding me through this period of my life without you, well, without you physically. You have completely changed my view of death. I was so scared of it before, ever since I was a child, and I'm not scared anymore. And I don't doubt that the spirit of each of us will live on after we die and continue to evolve through the stages of our soul's life, and I know one day we will give life another go, together, I assume it will be a more evolved union by then :). I know I've learned and grown so much from this, and I'm sure you have too. My goodness, growth on fast forward! You have given me the beautiful gift of believing, of having faith... I believe in your spiritual presence, I believe in the presence of angels, I believe in the spirit within all of life. Yes, all those years together of you trying to get me to have more faith in you, to believe everything would work out, well, this was the final test, the final lesson that will be an eternally ongoing one, and despite the pain, I am truly grateful for the truth that was revealed. Oh Mitch and our sweet little girls, Ava, oh my, she is a lot like you... with a strong mind of her own, and little Ams, sweet little Amelie, popped out looking a lot like you! Although I don't have to tell you, you were there, and are here to witness these two precious little peanuts... This has been the worst year, and yet one of the best years of my life. You died, and all the pain that came along with it, but this is also the year Amelie was born, this is the year Ava and I moved to Costa Rica, the year I graduated with my Master's degree, this is the year that I became aware of just how supported I am, and this is the year I learn to trust in myself and in life. Yes, it has been nearly one year since you died, I have nearly written a book already from this experience, thank you for that, I knew I wanted to write one, but didn't know what about... I have seen just how strong I am, I have seen just how supported I am, I have seen a lot my dear. I love you everyday and will continue to write you letters like I'm doing now, I will continue to tell Ava and Amelie stories about you and about our life together, I will continue to teach Ava how to connect with you (I'm pretty certain Amelie can see you, so don't have to help there...), I will stay awake to the beauty of each moment of this precious life we are living, and I will look ahead with faith and excitement for what's to come. I will live by your credo, “make it happen,” I will follow my joy in life as you always encouraged, and I will trust that it's all going to unfold beautifully, and just as it should. Thank you for ten beautiful years my darling. I love you. Be at peace, it's all good...